School Wars Episode V: Principal Yoda's Bad Day
by QUACK Inc
Summary: Principal Yoda, in Episode 5 of School Wars (where characters in Star Wars go to/work in a school), is having an INSANELY bad day at work. But is he imagining it, or are the students just playing a mean joke on him? Copyright QUACK Inc 2016. All characters were taken from Lucasfilm Ltd.'s Star Wars.
Principal Yoda was starting to think that the Force was out to get him.

After dealing with a food fight in the cafeteria (that Han Solo always shoots first), and filling out papers to install new windows in the cafeteria (that Anakin guy) , Principal Yoda was ready to just sit in his office and drink some coffee the rest of the day. But noooo, as soon as he settled in his desk the intercom buzzed. "Principal Yoda?" it said, "We need you in room 2B to help judge a debate between Nien Numb and Luke Skywalker."

Principal Yoda groaned and jumped off his heightened chair. Coffee will have to wait.

He shuffled off to the room and by the time he got there the debate was in chaos. Nien Numb was yelling in some sort of yodeling language on one platform while Luke banged his fist on the other platform, yelling "I must be allowed to speak!" the rest of the debating team shouted out their opinion about something. That something was . . . the banning of blue milk? Principal Yoda shook his head. What was wrong with this school?

Principal Yoda used the Force to calm everyone down, and the debate continued after that in a more subdued manner. Principal Yoda thought that the most interesting part was that Nien Numb couldn't bring his points across to Luke, who had no idea what he was saying. The debate team fell short after that.

While walking back to his office Principal Yoda heard a huge BANG! and a squeal coming from the music room. Principal Yoda rubbed his forehead and ran as fast as his little legs could carry him to the music room. He slammed open the door and found Padme, that sweetheart, chasing after a small, pink dinosaur-like creature with wings and teeth. It flapped around and squawked, occasionally spitting bits of poison.

"Acklay!" Padme was wailing as her slender hands waved into the air. They were long, but not long enough to reach the flying creature.

Principal Yoda yawned wearily and focused on the Force yet again to bring the rapture down. After returning the pet, he gave the owner detention*.

By this time Principal Yoda was ready to fall flat on his face and just SLEEP, he was so exhausted.

 _Fine, everything will be,_ Principal Yoda thought to himself. The he heard a deafening crash loud enough to rattle Principal Yoda's aching bones. _My friend, I thought you were,_ he though to the Force. He hurried to the source of the loud noise.

As he ran, he saw students and teachers alike scattering around like they were ants and someone stepped on their nest. Plaster was falling down in chunks, leaving dust trails in the already-congested air.

"What is going on?" Principal Yoda wheezed, hacking his lungs as he spoke.

"Something crashed onto the roof of the school!" Mon Montha managed between coughs.

Principal Yoda heard a whoop from the roof – a familiar whoop from that day's food fight . . .

"Han Solo!" Principal Yoda yelled to the best of his plaster-lined lungs' ability. "Come down right now, you must!"

From the colossal hole in the roof, Han Solo looked down into the panicked school, a guilty look on his face.

"Oh, hey there Principal Yoda," he smiled nervously, "I was just taking the _Millennium Falcon_ out for a ride and . . . took a wrong turn?"

Principal Yoda fumed inside. _Anger leads to the Dark Side,_ his brain reminded him. Principal Yoda took a few slow, deep breaths, and looked up at Han.

"Detention, Han. Double detention!" He yelled to the hole.

Han's eyes widened until they nearly popped from his face. "Two detentions, Principal?"

"Yes," Principal Yoda said shrewdly, "regular, one will be, and cleaning up this mess, the other will be."

"Aw, man," said Han, "but I get to keep my learner's permit, right? Right? Please?"

"Hmm . . ." Principal Yoda said, "see about it, I will. And if no further incidents there are, perhaps. And, if gets me a large coffee, someone does."

Han breathed a sigh of relief. Princess Leia emerged from the steaming wreck. "I told you you should let me drive. From now on, you do as I tell you, okay?"

"Not fair," Han protested, "I avoided almost all the space slugs."

Principal Yoda didn't even want to know. He sighed. "Sleep, I must. Going, I am. When for 900 years, principal you are, stay awake as good, you will not."

Pausing only to grab a cup of coffee as large as himself, he tottered out of the room.

No one spoke for a few minutes.

Finally, Han broke the silence. "That was fun! Let's do even better tomorrow!"

And the school let out a deafening roar.

* In which they must eat Principal Yoda's root stew without spitting it out or barfing.

* In which they must eat Principal Yoda's root stew without spitting it out or barfing.


End file.
